Ade's Chronicle 10

Ade’s Chronicle 10

The meal was a combination of various ingredients put together with rice. It was what I loved to call ‘Yellow rice’. It might not be actually coloured like the Jollof rice, but it was palatable and pleasing to the taste buds. Our soup had been finished the previous night hence; Rotimi had ensured that she used the same pot for the cooking of the rice. Bunmi was a good cook and it surprised me. That was a point for her as ‘bad’ as she was.

We settled down to eat the food. This time around, no one rushed to get their tummies filled. Thirty minutes later, the rice was history and had become a resident of our various stomachs. Bunmi packed the plates and did the dishes and pots and then she picked up her bag and announced that she was going home.

Rotimi and I walked her to the bus stop where she got on a bus to Mushin. The sun was not as merciless as it was the previous day and by the time we got back home, it was one p.m. I flopped unto the bed while Rotimi settled on the half rug that was in the centre of the room. As usual, we started a gist about what happened between them.

I had always told the female folks that I know that most guys are infected with the ‘kiss and tell’ syndrome. Whatever happened between both of you would become the topic of discussion between him and his friend or among his friends. The only female that is spared is mostly a guy’s fiancée. Any other girl is a centre of public gist. So, decide for yourself!

“Ol boy. That babe wan kill me o! But you know say I be actor, I no allow make she win. Na she run for the end. Trust your guy na.” Rotimi boasted.

“How e take be wey una come go balcony?” I asked.

“Na the babe o. She say inside dey hot make we go out. I tell am say we no go fit carry the bed since that one big wella, she say make we manage the mat. Na so I gree for am o. Ol boy, body dey pain me sef.” Rotimi narrated as he rolled to my side.

“Maybe make we buy that student mattress sef. That one no go make body pain una again. That one go cost like 7k but e go serve us wella. Abi wetin you think?” I suggested.

“Na the thing wey I been dey think be that o. We go buy am tomorrow na.” Rotimi agreed.

“So how the babe be na?” I asked to know the main event.

“The girl sweet o. But that her place no dey tight wella. She don dey do am tey tey. Lola own sef tight pass am. You sabi as Lola go almost dey cry when we dey do am that time, this one no be so o. She just dey take am as I dey give am, she come dey shake like say na honey I dey thruway give am. She even say I no do am reach but sha that na before we come chop Eba. Ol boy, that girl na winch!” He said relishing his escapade.

I listened attentively as he narrated how he went down with Bunmi from the kiss of the first round to the moans, the ‘uhs’, ‘ahs’, and the final attestation of how good he was by Bunmi.

It was not the first time we would be having such a discussion but what made this different was that the girl involved was a ‘small girl’. Lola and the rest we had been ‘banging’ were matured ladies. They weren’t fifteen or sixteen year olds. What also baffled me was his assertion that the girl was wilder and ‘more experienced’ than the previous ladies we had met and who were obviously older than she is. Wonders shall never cease!

I should note here that whatever went on between us and our respective fiancées never got discussed. We only discussed open ones like quarrels and the ones that needed one of to beg the other’s fiancée on his behalf. What went on when the lights are off are not discussed.

Thus began the official rumble in the jungle between my friend and one of my students. The party occurred home and away. Most times, it was in our house and I had known the sleeping arrangements. Rotimi never complained of body pains again because we had bought the student mattress as we planned. Even on one occasion, I could have sworn that I heard as Rotimi made Bunmi yearn for more. It could also be that I was dreaming. Bunmi too would invite him to her house, mostly in the afternoon, and they would take the romp to another level. That was the news Rotimi gave when he came back from such escapades. The night fight is left for our house.

What of me? You would ask. I got my share. And things got to a stage we .......... Let me leave that or you could take guesses...

Time flew and school resumed. Bunmi made good her promise without telling either I or Rotimi. What did she do?........

© Yettocome™ 2013

Ade's Chronicle 9

Ade's Chronicle 9

October 27, 2013 at 5:55pm

PublicFriendsOnly MeCustomClose FriendsOwerri, Imo AreaSee all lists...Ijebu Ode AreaMCMM TAS AV I PM FAMM MSWSothersKnowledge imparter. Spreader of the Islamic truthA knowledge engineer.Remo Secondary School, Sagamu, Ogun State, NigeriaLagos, Nigeria AreaTasuedTai Solarin University of Educationremo secondary school sagamuKnowledge imparter. Spreader of the Islamic truthFamilyAcquaintancesGo Back

I was in a land where all pains and suffering ceased to exist. I was in the arms of a loving wife and my kids were running around gleefully. I was reclining in a lovely arm-chair in a garden with sweet smelling flowers when a thud on my back woke me.
It was Rotimi who had slapped me on the back and brought me out of my dream. I opened my sleep-befuddled eyes to see him smiling pleadingly at me with his eyes. Beside him was his 'partner-in-crime', Bunmi. Her hair was an evidence that she had not had it easy with him- it was dishevelled. Her eyes were also smiling hungrily as they met mine. She was breathing as one who had just ran a five thousand metres race. They had just completed a round.... Good for them?

I got up from the bed, rubbed my eyes with my palms to clear the sleep out of it and faced Rotimi.
''Why did you come to disturb my beauty dream now?'' I said in formal English which we used when the matter was serious. I had feigned the seriousness. Rotimi apologised profusely and said, ''Ol boy, na hunger o! E wan kill me o, my belle don empty o.'' I looked at him and was about to laugh but he did not mind me, he continued ranting.
''Bunmi sef dey shout hungry o! She say her belle don empty so na im we say make we come see if you leave anything for us.'' He concluded giving me room to reply.
''Una don look kitchen?'' I asked them.
''We never look there o. We just enter come wake you straight. Bro, no vex for us eh.'' He said again.
I was not angry at all, I was rather happy to be privileged to have a first-hand sight of how they looked after their sexual exploits-the first round though.
''Eba dey kitchen. Meke Bunmi carry soup for pot make all of us chop am together. Una don make me hungry. I carry heunger go bed ni o.'' I said as a sharp guy. I had begun to feel a little hunger so I used the opportunity to share in the largesse they were about to enjoy.

They went into the kitchen to bring out the food. Rotimi carried the Eba while Bunmi took the soup. They set down the food then she spoke for the first time since they came in from their romp complaining of hunger.
''Sir Ade, we are sorry for making you go to bed in hunger and wake you up again in the middle of the night.'' She had said.
''How did you send me to bed hungry?'' I asked.
''You didn't eat before sleeping now, or did you eat?'' She replied.
''I didn't but I could have eaten so you weren't responsible for it. So please, don't be sorry.'' I admonished.

Rotimi came in with the hand washing water and we washed our hands and attacked the meal with all gusto. It was evident that they were hungry as Rotimi never cared that Bunmi was there and Bunmi herself never cared about us. She was eating like she was under a spell. I had to soft pedal for them to eat their fill so I took small morsels at long intervals.

After nothing of the food remained in the bowl, they heaved a huge sigh and both said ''Thank you.'' We all packed the plates to the kitchen and took turns to wash our hands the previous water having become very dirty. Bunmi offered to do the dishes and nobody objected.
In no time, she was through, then she joined us in the room where Rotimi and I were chatting. She went straight to him and sat on his laps. There was nothing more to be shy of anymore, was there?

I faced the wall on the bed I was lying on so that I won't cause myself unnecessary 'agro'. The time was 1:26 a.m and sleep was not forthcoming so I decided to log into a popular online forum I had just joined, Nairaland. I was reading a story written by a member called Yettocome. The title was 'Life's Symphony' and I had been captivated by the story. I logged in and began reading the next episode of the story.

By the time I was through reading the episode that talked about how the main character had lost his childhood lover and travelled to Lagos, it was almost three in the morning.
I turned to find the chair empty. Rotimi and Bunmi had left again for the balcony and I was not aware. 'No problem, it's their time.' I thought to myself and covered myself up with my Ankara wrapper and drifted off into dreamland.

I opened my eyes at 10:15 a.m to find that food was ready. Bunmi was grinning from ear to ear as she looked at me and saw disbelief in my eyes. I could not believe that I had slept for that long and that Rotimi could allow Bunmi to cook what we would eat that morning. He could at least wait till she became a 'regular'.
I asked of Rotimi and I was told that he had gone to have his bath. Bunmi herself was already dressed and she looked elegant in her new clothes. I never knew she had a change of clothing in her bag. It thought me a lesson; never underrate a woman or girl's bag, because you never know what is in it.

Rotimi came out minutes later dripping water all over the floor of the room. He gave her a peck and dressed up. I got up from the bed and took over the bathroom and had a hurried bath. I was so hungry that I could eat an elephant....

© Yettocome™ 2013

Ade's Chronicle 8

Ade’s Chronicle 8

Time goes fast when you are having fun. In no time, we were home and that began the long night for Rotimi and Bunmi. She was surprised at the heat that our room exuded. We only had a very fast ceiling fan but had no generator so she had to cope with the heat. It reminded me of the saying that what the dead sees in the grave, death brought it to him. So, it was not our fault that that was what we could afford and moreover we were better in status than most of our mates.

She took off her top to reveal a black camisole. She picked up the hand fan I had left before going out and started fanning herself. And come to think of it, it was in the evening and the sun had descended into its home, but the fury it left behind was still there though not as much as it was when the sun was still residing directly above our heads. Maybe because she was not used to such heat, only she could tell.

Rotimi encouraged her to be comfortable as he went into our kitchen or say kitchenette and came out with a bowl of rice. I said a bowl of rice because all the rice we had cooked that morning was put in a medium wash hand basin we used to make Eba. He brought three spoons because he knew we had not eaten all day and what we ate in Bunmi’s house couldn’t be called food. It was what Rotimi and I called deception because it leads to more hunger.

We all tackled the food with a renewed gusto. I was surprised that such a butter girl like Bunmi will be eating in the same bowl with pakos like us. But it shows that she can go to any extent to achieve her aim which you all know already. We ate the rice and the two pieces of meat that came with it. Rotimi was being lenient with Bunmi when it came to the meat sharing. He suggested that she took one piece while he and I share the other piece. I refused and went for a knife and divided the two pieces into three parts cutting a little of each piece. Bunmi was happy to eat the meat like that with us and we were happy to host her.

Time flew like no one’s friend and it was night. I never knew what Rotimi had planned for her. Our apartment had a balcony because it was on the second floor of a two storeyed building and I had been thinking of sleeping there. The almighty PHCN gave us light around eight p.m. so we all sat to watch television, the channel I cannot remember now.

Bunmi sat on the bed with Rotimi while I perched on one of the plastic chairs we had in the room. We all watched and laughed where necessary. We discussed the discussable and argued the arguable.

By nine p.m., it was time for the news. I tuned the TV to the federal government’s mouthpiece (NTA) to hear what the President has achieved. After the headlines, I tuned again to a more balanced AIT to hear another version of the same story that NTA had painted so well. This went on till half past the hour of nine.

All along, Bunmi had been talking about the headlines but suddenly she became quiet. I never suspected any foul play as I was engrossed in the news as was my practice. When the news was over, I turned to look at the couple who were seated on the bed and I was shocked to find the bed empty. They had gone out of the room and I never noticed. I scanned the room to see if my eyes were not playing a fast one on me, but I saw that they had truly ‘disappeared’ from the room and as well they went with the mat that we kept in a corner of the room. I knew where they would be.

I lay on the bed to sleep because I was not ready to disturb their ‘show’ for the second time that day, but a rumbling in my stomach reminded me that it had been hours I last ate something called food. I ran into the kitchen to boil water for making Eba. While that was on fire, I darted to the balcony to alert the lovebirds, sorry, lustbirds that I was about making Eba and also to know if they would be interested in it. I was shocked by what I saw.

Rotimi was already half naked while Bunmi was worse. The shout I had in my throat was forced back and the speed with which I came out was suddenly dead. They were locked in the hottest of kisses that I had ever seen. I already knew the answer to my question because they will definitely need food by the time they will be through with what they were doing. And I was not wrong afterwards!

I ran back to the kitchen to make Eba for three and warm the stew after which I settled down to tackle my own protin of the food with the biggest piece of meat in the pot. No be me send dem work. Abi na me?

After eating, I jumped on the bed to rest my head and knew not when the hands of sleep took me. Rotimi woke me around one o’clock, shouting for food....

Ade's Chronicle 7

My hypocritical cough would have alerted them as I did not go in immediately, hence they would have rearranged themselves because when I got in, they were sitting apart like teacher and student. I heard Bunmi mutter something that I thought was directed to me and Rotimi smiled as he heard. I must have missed it during my eavesdropping act. What she said was, “Sir, I think we need to get someone for Sir Ade.”

My heart skipped a beat as I heard that I will have someone like Bunmi to myself. My conscience pricked me but let me tell you now that I am no saint. I also have a ready girlfriend who will become wife as soon as things permit. No problem let them bring her on and we shall see!

Bunmi excused herself for twenty minutes and came back with a steaming plate of rice and stew with lots of beef. She accompanied it with another two packs of orange juice. We wasted no time as we all tucked it in and ten minutes later, we were done with it.

Rotimi signalled our intention to go home and Bunmi again excused herself, this time for close to thirty minutes. She came out looking smashingly beautiful. Indeed, school uniforms hide the talents of teenagers.

I wondered why she was thus dressed but Rotimi helped out as he offered that she would be going with us to our place and might spend the night as well. She would call her mother and announce to her that she would be having a night reading session with one of her friends who lived in Yaba. “So fast!” I exclaimed. She looked at me as if that I am from outer space. It’s her funeral, let her bear it...........

© Yettocome™ 2013

Ade's Chronicle Six

I sat on the balcony and slowly devoured my snack. While at it, I eavesdropped on the conversation between the two ‘friends’.

“Sir, i never believed you will come to my house today o. It really surprised me that you can come in this hot weather. I have to first say thank you for coming and also bringing along Uncle Ade.” Bunmi had said. I knew Rotimi would have worn the passive look we usually wear after being mischievous and the other party is yet to smarten up from the result of our act.

He said, “It’s nothing. At least this is what you want or is there anything else you want?” He continued his pretence. He wanted her to spell it all out. But I am sure he was not aware that I was hearing their conversation. The bimbo did not know what his intentions were, she unashamedly poured out her foolishness.

“Sir, it’s not only visiting that I need o. I want to know your house as well. Then I want more benefits from you. What I believe in is FWB. I know you would have your own girlfriend but I don’t mind cos I believe that you have enough to go round the two of us. The only thing is that I would not want her to leave you on my account. I will still be calling you ‘Sir’ as we do in school. I know that I came by myself to meet you, so I have to respect you so that I can get what I want. Be rest assured that with the benefits will come profit for you too sir. Finally, the act can take place here or in your house, that’s why I said I need to know your place. I don’t mind coming there when need be. I know that you and your friend will see me as a wayward girl but I see myself as a bad sharp girl who sees what she wants and went for it before others beat her to it.” She had rambled on and on excitedly.

Where I sat and listened, I could not but wonder what a fifteen year old girl had become in our world. Real big signs! But as the saying goes... little blame to the child who steals, more to the parents who left him to steal again and again...

Rotimi replied, “No problems as far as you don’t disrespect yourself. If you do, i will highly disrespect you and also know that there are others who want to be Friends With Benefits with me as you want. It’s not the threat you gave me that made me come to you but I just think you can change. I now see also that you can’t change. Me I will give you the benefits you want. JUST DON’T CAUSE SCENES! Your blackmail won’t work cos there are numerous schools in the state.” I knew he was bluffing because he was shaken by the threats she had made. We had suffered before getting that job.

I laughed as my friend said that. The conversation went on for some thirty to thirty five minutes before I heard nothing again. Then I peeped only to see the two of them in hot kissing session. I turned back and prepared to disrupt their rendezvous.

Three minutes later, I cleared my throat after packing up my things from the balcony.

“Hmmmmmmmnnnnn,” I coughed hypocritically to remind and prepare them for my entrance....

©Yettocome ™013

Ade's Chronicle 5

Bunmi led the way to her house which was not far from the bus stop. It was a five storeyed building that was painted cream. It would not have been more than five or six years but it looked like a forty year old building. The developer who built it never cared a hoot about the lots of the occupants of the building. It was capable of falling at anytime. It was like most houses in Lagos that collapse without notices.

Bunmi”s father had paid and his family habited the third floor of the building. We climbed the stairs and were let in by Bunmi who was the only one at home. The girl didn’t lie when she said she was always home alone. The house was a four bedroom flat and the interior did not depict the true nature of the exterior we saw when coming in. It looked like a totally different world. The sitting room was the next room after the three rooms and the kitchen and restrooms. The last of the rooms was the master bedroom. It had a door leading to it from the sitting room. What I saw of the house justified the impression I had that Bunmi’s parents were a little above the middle class. No wonder they sent her to our school. Their school fee is something I can’t remember now, but I know it’s on the high side. Everything in the house spoke of their high taste. From the Plasma television, the curtains, the sofas that swallowed you when you sit and invite you to sleep from afar, to the tiled floor and the centre rug which was as soft as the sand of the beach. The sight was glorifying and wonderful and I took it all in graciously.

Bunmi offered us cold drinks after we had been seated in the air-conditioned sitting room. “Ol boy ye, money good o! See life for here, I don forget say sun been wan kill me before o!” I quickly typed and sent to Rotimi as a text message when Bunmi was out of the room. She opened two packs chilled five alive berry blast drinks with two glasses. Rotimi wasted no time as he tucked his drink into his flat stomach. I gave him a look which said, ‘you are a glutton.’

Bunmi went out again only to come in with a pack of crisp fried chin-chin. She saw that I had not touched the drink. “Sir, are you quarrelling with your drink? Or you don’t want that variant? Or have I offended you sir?” she reeled out without waiting for an answer.  I did not know where to start the answering from. The fact was that I was pleased with the house, but I was not pleased at the manner in which we came about her. I believed that a man should be the one running after a woman and not vice versa. Lots of thoughts bombarded my heart. What if her parents come in? How do we explain ourselves? When are they coming back? What of her other boyfriends? Won’t they try to harm us if they find out that these ‘fine boys’ are stealing away their girlfriend from them? Anyhow we shall survive them.” When problems arise, the problem should not be thought about; rather the solution should occupy your thoughts.” One of my lecturers had said back in school.

I came back to Moshalashi, Mushin, from my thought and told her that I was just resting after walking for long in the hot sun. She relaxed a bit and sat beside Rotimi. I did as if I did not see her and faced my own chin-chin and drink. I requested for ice which she generously gave to me and left the sitting room for them with my booty. I went to the balcony which faced the street and took in the beauty of nature in that hot sun. Seeing people walking up and down in the sun looking for ways to make ends meet and seeing the irony of me in an A. C filled house that hardly knew if the sun was fierce made me know that life is indeed unequal.

Ade's Chronicle 4

Bunmi picked the phone at the third trial. “Hello,” She said. It was obvious that my friend had not given her his number which is one of our modus operandi.

“Hello Bunmi, it’s Rotimi. Where are you?” Rotimi said.

“Sir Rotimi, I am at home.” Bunmi quipped.

“Ol boy, you dey mad o! Something dey worry you. Ah ah! So the babe never know say we dey come, you come carry me dey fry inside this hot sun.” I was pissed as I said.

Rotimi laughed and slapped me on my back. “I wan take am surprise the babe. Sorry paddy mi.” He apologised as I smiled and that was the end.

He redialled Bunmi’s number which he had cut after my outburst. She picked again, this time at the first ring. “Hello sir, the network here can be frustrating at times. I am sorry sir. You were about telling me something before the line went dead.” Bunmi ranted on after picking the call.

“Yeah, I am at the bus stop you told me about. I mean the bus stop to your place.” Rotimi said.

Bunmi must have been elated on hearing that Rotimi was close to her house. That was what she had wanted all along, coming to our place and Rotimi visiting her for lots of rendezvous.

“Sir you mean you are at Moshalashi?” She asked the normal Nigerian way. Rotimi mused at this and muttered under his breath “No, at Oyingbo.” Before saying loudly to show his displeasure, “Just come to the bus stop and pick me or I go back to my house. The sun is smoking me up.”

Bunmi sensed his irritation. “I am sorry sir. It just surprised me a lot sir. I am already on my way sir. What are you wearing? I mean how do I spot you sir?”

Rotimi smiled before saying “Just come. When you get to the bus stop, call me and I will direct you to where I am. Be fast about it cos I am frying in this sun o.”

I looked askance at my friend. I don’t know what he had up his sleeves. I know him well but at times, he can be mischievous, so am I. We do things to surprise each other. What he had decided to do with Bunmi was beyond me then, but I know that with time I would know, hence, I decided to fold my arms and watch the unfolding drama.

As I was busy with my thoughts, my eye caught a smashingly pretty girl of about fifteen years. She was fair, five feet and some inches by my estimation, she was endowed in front and behind. Her hair was braided in the style called ‘Ghana Weaving’ and she was wearing a provocatively short black skirt. On it, she wore a green camisole. And her feet were enshrined in flat golden slippers.

My attention brought me back to the present. I raised my head to look at the beauty who had invaded the privacy of my thoughts and lo and behold, it was BUNMI!

I signalled to Rotimi who obviously had seen her too and whistled while saying “Ol boy ye! Uniform dey hide talent o! No wonder this girl wan kill you! She sef know wetin she worth o.!” Rotimi got the gist and laughed aloud, a sign that he agreed totally with what I had said.

She was not too far from us, so we could see her. She could not see us because she was busy dialling Rotimi’s number which rang immediately.  He picked it and told her to look straight ahead of her. She did, saw us and ran towards us. I got over my initial lustful admiration and watched as she hugged my friend tightly. She greeted me too and gave me a light hug. She feared me a lot because I had called her bluff once in the class when she was busy with another thing while I was teaching.
She only respected Rotimi, not fear, and from the findings we made, she had mulled before coming to meet Rotimi to be her ‘friend’.

Mine was on the way, I never knew. Bunmi had a plan for me....

Ade's Chronicle 3

Ade's Chronicle 3

October 6, 2013 at 2:36pm

PublicFriendsOnly MeCustomClose FriendsOwerri, Imo AreaSee all lists...Ijebu Ode AreaMCMM TAS AV I PM FAMM MSWSothersKnowledge imparter. Spreader of the Islamic truthA knowledge engineer.Remo Secondary School, Sagamu, Ogun State, NigeriaLagos, Nigeria AreaTasuedTai Solarin University of Educationremo secondary school sagamuKnowledge imparter. Spreader of the Islamic truthFamilyAcquaintancesGo Back

We stepped out of the house into the street and walked to short distance between our house and the Jibowu bus stop where we would get a bus to Mushin. We had waited barely five minutes watching the men of the Nigerian Police doing their thing when the Danfo we had been waiting for came along.
''Oloosha! Mushin!! Oshodi!!! Mushin!'' Shouted the bus conductor at the top of his voice. His appearance amused me. He was clad in a white vest that had become brown on a tattered jeans which was formerly long but had been cut short by a carpenter. His feet was housed in two pairs of dunlop slippers, each pair having lost its partner took solace in accompanying the other. His bloodshot eyes was an evidence that he had been drinking despite the hot weather. He sang his route again as he neared where we stood.

We signalled for him to stop and he did. Rotimi looked at me womdering what was making me smile. It was obvious that he had not seen the conductor when I saw him. I pointed to the conductor and Rotimi's face eased into a smile. We both had a similar sense of humour which made me think that the people who called us twins might be roght afterall! One day I will ask my mum and I will tell him to do same.

We entered the bus which was having only two spaces left. I sat in the back seat while Rotimi was seated in the middle seat. The bus had three rows of seat which was typical of the Danfo buses.

This particular bus made my day. Apart from its amusing conductor, the passengers it carried made me reel in laughter. I sat between two ladies. One a Nigerian, the other something between a Chinese and an Indian. She reeked of garlic and everybody had to cover their noses. She then opened her mouth that she had been chewing as a goat does chew cud and spat a blackish sputum out of the window. I was covered in saliva as the breeze scattered the mess she spat out. Every other passengers burst into laughter as I gave her a murderous look.

The other woman beside me was no better. As she was laughing, she shifted her buttocks a little and let flying the worst of gases I had ever heard. She then pretended as if nothing happened. The thing's smell was first percieved from the front seat.
''Hmmm! Hmmm!! Hmmmm!!!'' Everybody offered as the smell of something worse than the smell of rotten eggs invaded the privacy of their noses. I was not left out. Again, I did not talk, I just turned my head and looked at her with the same severity of eyeing that I gave the other woman who bathed me in spit.
She should have kept quiet. She wanted to prove her innocence. She opened her mouth and said, ''What I do you? Why look you me like that? I mess the mess? Don't look me again o.'' She was shouting at the top of her voice.

All heads turned to look at the bomb thrower before bursting into another session of rib cracking laughter. Not too long after, the bombs were re echoed all around the bus making us all to forget the earlier putrid smell we had been enduring.
The woman never knew she was the object of laughter as she also joined in the laugh galore to provoke further laughter which rang through the bus.

Another man with tea coloured teeth and enough holes to bury a three month old baby in his mouth opened it up beside Rotimi and poked his cigarette into it. This infuriated Rotimi who hates anything lighted on the head passionately. Rotimi excused the man and told hom that he should please put it out till we alight at the next bus stop. The man did not answer which made Rotimi to pluck the stick out of his mouth and throw it out of the window.
''Dan buro ba!!!'' Cursed the man who was viciously angered by Rotimi's action. He made to hit him with his blackened hands but Rotimi held it and threw him back in the seat at the other two that were beside him. Everybody went into another round of hysteria as they both battled themselves.
''Moshalashi!'' shouted the conductor and Rotimi who was still scuffling with the Hausa man shouted ''Owa!''.
''Oga mi Moshalashi wa o. Ikan ninu awon were to n ja yen lo fe boole ni Moshalashi.'' The rough looking conductor told his driver.
''Baba ati awon iyalaya e ni were. Iwo oloshi yii. Ori e ti yi abi? Je ki n gba e mu. Wa gba pe were ni baba nla e. Duro fun mi jo! Oloriburuku eeyan.'' Rotimi had said back at the conductor.

He left the Hausa man who still continued with his cursing in Hausa and we got down from the bus. When the bus had gone, I looked at my friend of many years from head to toe and saw that he was not rough at all despite the scuffle he just had.
''Ol boy, you too tight o. I think say that Aboki don tear ya shirt o.'' I said in our usual pidgin. We loved speaking to each other in pidgin, no matter how serious the discussion was.
''No mind me jare. I just make sure say im hand na im I dey hold. Na sense jare.'' He replied smiling.

With that he brought out his phone to call Bunmi....

Ade's Chronicle 2

I got up from the bed, though unwillingly but hopeful that I would get some cool air outside the house, and put on my clothes- a Tee Shirt and Jeans wear- and joined the already set Rotimi outside.

"Wetin we dey go do for Mushin?" I queried him.
"Na that girl wey dey S. S two wey I been dey tell you about, na in we dey go see." Rotimi replied.
it was true that he had told me about the girl. But what I find quite funny was that it wasn't Rotimi that was running after the girl rather it was a case of bushmeat running after the hunter.

The girl, Bunmi by name, had threatened to tell the school Principal that she was being molested by Rotimi. Though we initially called her bluffs. But when she won't relent, Rotimi gave in. What they all saw in us, I never knew, even till now. The world is indeed a spoilt place!

Sorry, let me describe us. I am Ade by name and Rotimi is my friend, as you might have known. We are graduates.
Both of us are six feet two inches tall, we are of the slender build but we are a little bit on the muscular side. While Rotimi is fair, I am dark in complexion. We have the six packs abs, a result of months of weight lifting. We both have a round face with dark eyeballs. But the main difference between us is that he is quite hairy while I am hair starved. As people will say, I did not wait to collect hair from Baba God. He has the beards so much that he shaves twice a day, while i have three ir four strands of hair under my chin. Rotimi does different styles of haircut, just think of it and my friend is at the salon the next minute waiting to have it on his hairy head. Me? I am a little bald and my best haircut style is the 'skin' style. reason? Don't ask me.
We both hate keeping moustaches, so, he cuts his daily, while mine is done weekly, or when necessary. People do take us for twins, the reason for which I can't also figure out. But they insist that we look quite alike.

Bunmi was not the first female to run after Rotimi. There had been many before her and many came after her. I should also let you know that I too did not escape from the claws of these females o. Infact we were both in it together because as Bunmi was running after him, another girl in S. S. S three wanted me. What do we do? Maybe we were the most eligible bachelors in town afterall!

Bunmi was a girl who lived with her parents. She said she was their last child but they had no time for her. Her father leaves the house at four in the morning while her mother leaves home by five. They both never returned until eleven at night. So, the girl has all the room she neeeded to carry out whatever seem to catch her fancy. Plus she lacks not the cash needed for the rendezvouz. She was a girl of around five feet two inches. She was fair in complexion. She said she was fifteen years old. She was quite endowed in the two aspects. She confessed that she just needed to have a taste of my friend for sometime, she doesn't need anything else. What a girl!

Can you beat that?.......

Ade's Chronicle

Ade's Chronicle.

 

It was a sunny Saturday afternoon. The sun was threatening to cook all that was under it. It was one of those days when everybody wished they had put on their birthday suits but the society would have thought something else was wrong.

I was sitting in my room in my boxer shorts with a hand fan in my hand blowing me a portion of the hot air when Rotimi walked in. ''Ade, make we run go Mushin now,'' he said.

Rotimi was my friend of twenty five years. Our friendship had started from our primary school days. We had been inseparable since then. Our families had through us become one.

We both came to Lagos after our university education in the north. We had left Ibadan telling our parents that we won't return home until we made it. How do we make it except we first get a job?

Our parents still paid for the one room self contain we are living in. The house is situated on a popular street in Yaba. It is not too far from the popular Yaba market; hence, we strolled to the market frequently to pick up clothes and stuffs.

Rotimi was a graduate of Accounting and I had read Economics. We both graduated with second class upper division and we had both dreamt of working together in the same establishment.

Presently, we had dropped our C. Vs. in all places droppable and the news of tests and interviews had began to trickle in. But to keep body and soul together- since our parents' ten thousand naira a month allowance won't keep us for more than two weeks- we took up a teaching appointment with a private secondary school not too far from our house.

The pay, you ask? Okay, thirty thousand naira a month each, for teaching Economics and Financial Accounting to the Senior classes and Business Studies and Shorthand to the Junior classes forty times a week each, was the bargain. The lesson plan writing was what we hated most. But we had to write it. The good thing about the school was that we could take up extra private classes, which we did, at our own personal rates with the individual parents. We charged five thousand naira a month.

The Senior students were something else, they never allowed us breathing spaces. Spoilt children looking for who to spoil them the more. What a pity!
Rotimi did his part. I must confess I did mine too. But that is a tale for another day. We did things...